After a day like today I could do nothing else but have a breakdown like the one I just had on the way home from a friends house. On my way home, I just needed to talk, so the first instinct I had was to pick up the phone and call Josh. Yes I said Josh. How is it that after a year and a half of not calling Josh, he was instantly the first person I thought of? I asked myself the same question (through lots of tears of course)! Its days like this, when I had a hard day, or I dont really feel good, that I miss him the most. He was there for it all. He saw me on the days when I was nice to NO ONE, including him, and somehow he still loved me through it all. He knew exactly how I was feeling and what I was keeping in. He knew what to say to make it all better and he was there to hold me while I just cried, for whatever reason it was that day. Some days I feel like I am never going to see him again. Some days I feel like its been forever.
I miss the way he smells. Haha I know thats weird, but he had a certain smell that no one else has, and I will never forget it. I miss the jokes we had and the way he could make me laugh. I miss fighting with him and him telling me sorry in the end. I miss all the notes he would write. I miss knowing that someone was always there for me. I am lonely.
Its days like today that make me appreciate the Josh I know and love. Its days like today that make me want July to come tomorrow. Its days like today that make me hurt.
It's days like today that make me miss him.
3 comments:
sum,
july is going to come fast. Just let yourself get lost in your work... like he is, in his. I know it is tough. Because you love him and miss him so much.
I know how much you ache for him, but know he is out there serving the lord. Sum... Let yourself miss him.. let yourself cry... Write him a letter telling him how much he means to you. look for the light in the dark sky; to help you get through that day. Realize you have your sweetheart... and You know when you will see him.
Remember i am here for you; if you need anything; a dr pepper, a hug, a crying buddy for you at 3am, spoon me... anything... im here for ya. love you
I'm so not looking forward to this. :( Love you girlie!
i understand how your heart feels today. i walked in those shoes so many times with seth deployed and again when he's trucked long-haul.
BIG, HUGE, HEARTFELT HUGS TODAY!!!
remember there is light at the end of the tunnel. practically only 4 months left. you can do this. you got this!
p.s. i know he's focused on the work right now, but i also know that he misses you too. =)
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