I am a planner. Plain and simple. I like to make lists and I like to check things off, just like in the movie Lucky Seven. I like knowing what happens next and what is going to happen next in my life. Lately, I feel like I have no control over what is going to happen next. I have no control over my own life. I have huge decisions coming up within the next year and I have almost no say in what is going to happen (even though I probably have all say in every situation, it feels like I have no control). I have been feeling insecure about what is going on for the past few weeks and it has been really hard to be optimistic. I need to become humble and I need to put my problems into someone else's hands, but some days I just feel like I can do it on my own. I need something in my life that is a constant. I need to settle down and find something that I can rely on day to day. Everything keeps changing, people keep coming and going in and out of my life and I am just getting overwhelmed and confused. When did it get this way!
Hopefully I will be able to snap out of it all and will be able to get everything back to normal! I miss the summer that I used to be! ugh....sorry for the venting. Uplifting post coming soon :)
2 comments:
i have been. there.
truly, at your age i was asking the EXACT same questions. in reality you already know the answers. 1) He is always there, constant 2) this life's not about what you can do on your own, its entirely about learning to lean on Him 3) we cannot stay the same as we were. if that were the plan there would be no progression...without progression we cannot become exalted. 4) trust Him. He's THE expert. not only did He get it ALL right when He was here, He also has the bigger picture which is shielded from our view due to the veil.
i love our apostles! they've shed so much light, through the years, for me on dealing with the same questions you face now. here are two very profound statements in which i have found refuge:
"Everybody in this life has their challenges and difficulties. That is part of our mortal test. The reason for some of these trials cannot be readily understood except on the basis of faith and hope because there is often a larger purpose which we do not always understand. Peace comes through hope." (James E. Faust)
it reminds me of the line, "...we believe all things, we hope all things, we hope to be able to endure all things..."
"We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever." (Joseph B. Wirthlin)
remember YW? "we are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him..." lean on your faith, trust in your divine nature, believe in your own individual worth.
another place in which i find strength enough to pull through is in music...i heart michael mclean, always have. do you remember the song "you're not alone"? or the song lines "just hold on, the light will come"? they beacons in the darkest times of my life.
i'm sure you're familiar with jenny phillips...what about her cd "journey towards zion"? FIND THESE THINGS. your heart will thank you for them. the pure & simple truths that are echoed in these lyrics have the power (because they are truth) to permeate any troubles that may be looming.
summer, you truly are not alone.
love ya!
p.s.
i adored lucky seven as well, lol.
maybe cause my life depends on lists too. =)
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